Musical Jokes

Thunderer · Post by **Thunderer** » 21/10/2005 - 7:57

Let's kick of some musical humour. Well I can only remember two jokes:

What do you call a person who hangs around musicians?

A drummer!

__________________

What do you get if you push a piano down a mine-shaft.

A Flat Miner!

Pex `Mahoney` Tufvesson · Post by **Pex `Mahoney` Tufvesson** » 21/10/2005 - 8:08

What's the difference between a banjo and a viola?

- The viola burns longer.

merman · Post by **merman** » 21/10/2005 - 10:17

(Apologies to Andreas)

What does a drummer use for contraception?

His personality!

Matrix · Post by **Matrix** » 21/10/2005 - 13:24

Are we feeling CROTCHETy today then

Have a REST.... BREVE..... a little

tomsk · Post by **tomsk** » 22/10/2005 - 9:57

With a title like "Musical Jokes" I thought someone better mention........

Milli Vanilli

(ahem)
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Steve B · Post by **Steve B** » 22/10/2005 - 14:43

a note walks into a bar ...

merman · Post by **merman** » 22/10/2005 - 16:07

Steve B wrote:a note walks into a bar ...

...just as the barman calls time

Steve B · Post by **Steve B** » 23/10/2005 - 17:20

Thunderer wrote: What do you get if you push a piano down a mine-shaft.

A Flat Miner!

Q: What do you get if you run over an army officer with a steam roller?
A: A flat major.

Q: What do you say to an army officer as you're about to run him or her over with a steam roller?
A: Be flat, major.

Q: What do you say after you run an army officer over with a steam roller?
A: See flat major.

Q: What do you get when an army officer puts his nose to the grindstone?
A: A sharp major.

Q: What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?
A: A natural major.

Steve B · Post by **Steve B** » 23/10/2005 - 17:24

A note left for a pianist from his wife

Gone Chopin, (have Liszt), Bach in a Minuet.

dan gillgrass · Post by **dan gillgrass** » 23/10/2005 - 17:25

I cant believe im reading this thread...

Steve B · Post by **Steve B** » 23/10/2005 - 17:27

Pex `Mahoney` Tufvesson wrote:What's the difference between a banjo and a viola?

- The viola burns longer.

Q: Why does a viola burn longer than a violin?

A: It is usually still in the case.

Thunderer · Post by **Thunderer** » 24/10/2005 - 8:02

A five piece band go on a tour of the world with a boat. Unfortunately, the ship sinks in the middle of nowhere and everybody has to swim for their lives. John, who plays the double base, grabs his case and floats off to safety on a deserted island. Peter the drummer, manages to get hold of his bass drum and floats off to safety on the deserted island. Tom the piano player, manges to find floating parts from his piano, holds on to them and floats off to safety on the deserted island. Brian, the guitar player gets hold on to his hollowbody guitar and barely manages to make it to the desrted island.

So they all find themselves on the island. They gather around a fire all happy and relieved that they had saved themselves from such a disaster. Suddenly it occurs to one of them that something is wrong and he exclaims:

"Hang on, where's Ben, our flute player."

Thunderer · Post by **Thunderer** » 24/10/2005 - 8:03

Steve B wrote:A note left for a pianist from his wife

Gone Chopin, (have Liszt), Bach in a Minuet.

Wow, that's a classic

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