An Apology

Chappers · Post by **Chappers** » 04/11/2005 - 13:26

Sorry guys for the downer I'm about to reveal but it's been bottled up for a while....

I've not been as active on the forum (or in IRC) over the past fortnight due to stress and depression. It's been building up for the past 6 months with the crappy job I had and other family-related stuff going back a couple of years.

It finally came to a head when I got made redundant (25th October), fortunately my girlfriend Ellie (TheWench/Ginger Wench) and my mum were with me when I got handed my notice.

My apology is to all you guys on here (and a few buddies on MSN) for not opening up and talking to my friends while my head was getting fucked up and also while I have been recovering. I just basically shut down from retro-type stuff and couldn't face going on the forum or IRC till I was feeling better. I probably wasn't sure what the reaction would be if I discussed it briefly on the forum and didn't want to take the risk of further damage at the time. I know people have taken timeout from the forum for various reasons but it never entered my head to do the same.

At the time of typing, I'm now officially on the sick for a month (applying for benefits as well) and now sorting out some counselling for head probs. I'm doing ok now that I don't have work/job to worry about and have got some help started to be a bit happier. The support of Ellie and my mum over the past fortnight has helped for me to venture back on here to keep you guys informed.

Hope this hasn't put anyone else on a downer but it's helped already typing this.

See you chaps online tomorrow for the concert!

dan gillgrass · Post by **dan gillgrass** » 04/11/2005 - 17:00

U always needed head probs

Serious tho, you got my number if you need to chat, shit always happens and well, ive been thru what you seem to be going thru, chin up, head high, and I want you in Feb

Matrix · Post by **Matrix** » 04/11/2005 - 17:06

Everyone needs timeout for a while, whatever the reason - best o luck buddy....

Vosla · Post by **Vosla** » 04/11/2005 - 18:55

Yeah, take your time. I guess you will recover very fast and wish you nethertheless all the best.

Post by **tas** » 04/11/2005 - 21:45

You've done well covering that up mate.

I hold very much sympathy for people in these situations and i know how it feels as was well advertised many moons ago. Like dan says, you've got mates all over the place (good ones too) like myself, dan and many others.

You need to chat, then you know where we are. If you wish to keep it yourself then ofcourse we respect that too - everyone deals with these things differently. But you KNOW where we are if you need a shoulder.

You'll get through it mate, trust me.. It might seem a big black hole at the moment with no light at the end of the tunnel and your doing the right thing in councelling and such but eventually you'll see a glimmer that slowly gets bigger and you'll come out through it a totally different person.

Trust me, you'll get through this!

Waz · Post by **Waz** » 05/11/2005 - 8:38

Paul,

What can I say? It's very hard for me to find words at this time.

I'm not you, and I definitely am not going to come out with that "i know how you feel" bullshit, because I don't. Only you really know how you're feeling and what you're going through, and I'm sure if you need to talk further, you know where I am, where Dan is, where Neil is etc if you need to give any of us a ring - or email or pm us if need be. If it's helping you personally to type out your feelings and let them go, then that's good.

Plus I'm quite sure that the support of your mum and Ellie has really made a difference, even if you might not be feeling that yet. Things will get better for you, I'm convinced of that. You're far too bloody nice a person for things not to, and I mean it.

If you and Ellie want a couple of days over in Manchester, give us a shout. A change of scenery might be a good thing too.

Take care, and rock out tonight! :)

merman · Post by **merman** » 05/11/2005 - 9:34

Mate, sorry to hear that. If you need to talk things over, get in touch.

Chappers · Post by **Chappers** » 08/11/2005 - 14:51

Thanks for all the words of support, guys! I really appreciate the effort that everyone here has gone to to help me. I also want to say that I know the replies here reflect the forum as a whole, don't want anyone who hasn't posted to feel they are expected to post in support.

Like I said in the original post, it helped getting the problems down on paper, so to speak. I'm certainly not feeling the same way that I did before the post (which I would say is a good sign) but I'll definitely keep it going with the counselling till it gets to the stage where I don't need it any more.

Eventually, I want to be improved mentally to get into the habit of chatting more online (aside from IRC and on here) to friends. I've been keeping stuff like this bottled up for so long that I'm not sure how long it will take me to be less introverted. This mainly goes for all the chaps I know on MSN/Yahoo that I really don't chat enough to, hopefully I'll be less of a hermit in this respect.

Here endeth the speech....

Makke · Post by **Makke** » 08/11/2005 - 19:54

All I can say is get well soon, mate.

At least figuring out you have a problem and getting help to sort it out is one huge step in the right direction.

fnordpojk · Post by **fnordpojk** » 09/11/2005 - 2:22

Chappers, mate, when I was in the same situation as you, I went the other way and spent practically all my time on IRC/IM. That's no good either, just so you know.

Only advice I can give is take your time and you'll get your balance back. It sounds like your family is there to help, which is a great plus. Hope you'll feel better soon!

tony.rc · Post by **tony.rc** » 11/11/2005 - 4:25

Chappers,
I know the pain all too well of a workplace that depresses you EVERYDAY. living it myself.
I tend to tell my irc mates when I've really had a bad one.

I wish you all the best and I'm interested to know how you go.

Analog-X64 · Post by **Analog-X64** » 11/11/2005 - 14:23

I did the same thing when my Wife was diagnosed with Cancer 2 years ago, I just kind went into hiding quit the scene all together.

I was an IRC-COP/OP on a very popular Retro Site, I walked away from it and I still havent gone back to that.

But coming back here and on some other sites did help, and I realised going into hiding was not a good idea.

The sooner you can get into what you liked doing and doing normal stuff the faster you will recover.

I liked Retro Stuff so coming back to it, made me feel better.

Good Luck.

Bog · Post by **Bog** » 13/11/2005 - 20:40

Always a beer and a seat at the table here for ya, Chappers.

This too shall pass, and all that. *hug*

Chappers · Post by **Chappers** » 02/02/2006 - 11:30

Just a small update on me.

Had a counselling session yesterday where I got a lot off my chest. It went really well. Feel a bit brighter than before but obviously long way to go still.

I'm now looking forward to going away for Valentine's Day with Ellie, hope it's not as cold as today! Brrrrr!

Speaking of the cold, had a gas safety check done two days ago on my gas fire mainly. The engineer found a big problem where gas fumes had been leaking out of a hole in the side of the chimney breast and the gas fire itself was faulty. The list of near misses for me seems to be growing quite quickly!

Naturally, the engineer capped off the whole gas supply so am currently without any heating! It would be really bloody cold today!

As I type, I'm waiting for a gas engineer to turn up for a quote for a new boiler. He can't arrive and then arrange to fit it soon enough!

Post by **LMan** » 02/02/2006 - 13:53

Hey mate, glad to hear. Keep it up and heat yourself at your computer's vent.