Ferrari's new pit team

[Steve B]

The Ferrari formula 1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday.
The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the UK
Government's Youth Opportunity Scheme and employ people from Glasgow.

The decision to hire them followed a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from the Glasgow area were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of euros worth of high tech equipment. Prime Minister Tony Blair went on record as saying this was a bold move by the Ferrari management which demonstrated the international recognition of the UK under New Labour.

As most races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari thought they had the advantage over every team. However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for. At the first practice session, the Glasgow pit crew successfully changed the tyres in less than 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged, and sold the vehicle to the McLaren team for 8 bottles of Stella, a kilo of speed and some photos of Coulthard's bird in the shower.