There are weekends and then there are weekends

[xo]

My weekend started out by finding out that I have had a breakin in my basement. I didn't notice anything stolen. It was all an even bigger mess than I left it. Then again there is nothing there of any value except broken stuff and boxes to put them in, and then personal stuff of sentimental value. This is the second time it happens. This is starting to piss me off.

Yesterday I went "to town" to get a couple of beers with a friend. We had a nice time as we usually do. Then while waiting for the morning train home we sit and joke with eachother. Suddenly someone calls me out asking "are you gay?". I thought about it for a split second and asked back "are you gay?" An odd question to have asked to you from someone you don't know so I didn't feel like it was any of his bussiness one way or the other (the question was most likely triggered by me and my friend's gestures and mutual joking.)

That was the wrong question to ask back though as he was now running fast towards me and ended up punching me in the face once or twice, I am not quite sure. This guy is a 2. generation immigrant. I'm still a bit shaken up my it. I'm not the violent kind of person. I also live a place where there are lots of immigrants and have been threatened before from a group. I pretty liberal and come along quite nicely with most of my neighboors though and most people in general. But such events and events like the infamous Muhammed crisis, also spawned by apparent tabu breaking, sparks violence I cannot understand or accept. Immigration and adaptation to norms and standards of our society is a major problem which can be seen in the statistics for violence amongst others. This is the first time I really get to feel it on my own body what non-integration can mean.

The train station is video surveilanced so when I grabbed my phone the group of immigrants got nervous. I didn't really intend to call the police though. Just to give them a scare. I don't want a youth gang on my neck.

Earlier I had helped a foreigner (kurdish I believe) buy a ticket and his travel plans. A friendly person. He didn't understand what happened and why it happened. But this sort of thing makes an impression on you.

For the record I am not gay, but certainly not homophobic either, and I don't mind a sexually loaded joke once in a while in the company of people who understand humor and do not resort to violence over a friendly teasing.

I do feel a little angry inside right now, I must admit.

I don't usually pour out my private life in public, but I felt like telling this story to someone.

There you have it. My weekend... so far...

[tas]

Sounds terrible..

One of the things i have learned over the years is just to ignore these types of people.. Do not respond, do not react. It's got me out of all sorts of trouble in the past. However, as this seems he was looking for an excuse just to give you a good hiding and needless to say you was going to get it however you reacted.

It's one of those situations of being in the wrong place at the wrong time - I've been in that possition many years ago and the result was a broken jaw and stitches in my lower lip.

Couldn't understand it at the time; afterall there was nothing to understand - some people are just cowards and they see a target and set upon it. Some people do it by viollence, some by words, some by actions - none are any better.

You have my sympathy mate and understand your anger. Some people are just beyond words.

[xo]

Thanks Tas. I'm glad I didn't end up getting as hard a beating as you did.

The time before where I got threathened with being beaten to the ground, I had said nothing and done nothing except walk down the road, I also didn't react, say, or do anything so as to avoid further escalation of the situation. Being somewhat "pissed" this time, I responded back with the exact same words which I shouldn't have, annoying a fact as that may be. So the strategy of saying nothing probably works most of the time.

But I've actually had another encounter, this time with a "native" Dane. He was messed up somehow because he threatened me with violence and ran after me and I had done nothing except walk quietly discretely along the other side of the street. I had spotted him and tried to pace by him as discretely as possible as he was talking to himself in an angry manner and shouting and walking in a non-linear motion and obviously under some sort of influence. So my non-reaction was equally provocative to him. I'm convinced that I could have done nothing to calm him down except to choose a path which might have, or might not have, caused the lesser of two/three/... evils.

Anyway, just my experiences...

[tas]

It's hard to get your head around isn't it? There's nothing wrong in venting your anger here.. Most of us will have been through similar experiences and have found no outlet.

The bloke who i will admit just gave me one good thump did a staggering amount of damage but i came through it. He was a druggie it turned out and although investigated and pin pointed got away with just a caution.

I got a good hiding that day, but rest assured life experiences afterwards did more harm afterwards without a single punch being thrown.

Turn back the clock? I'd love to!

[Vosla]

Bad luck!

Yeah! There are those f*ckers out there who act out their short-comings on others and there is nothing to avoid them... just a good load of luck.

I have difficulties to remain calm in these moments but I guess I had a lot of luck as there were seldom incidents of this kind.
...And it might have helped so far that I'm tall & massive with a hopping mad expression when challenged. I'm cautious, too. Don't want to caught a knife or two.

[beyond]

What a cr*ppy situation.

I think we all can relate. We are all alpha-males by the end of the day. Being a nice guy that takes the beating every time will get one upset or angry. There is nothing wrong or unnatural with that.

If you start letting your reptile brain dictate your behaviour you have and will get problems. Be happy that you are not like that.

[Infamous]

christ,

I come from an area where fighting is pretty rife, my youth is full of little spats between this person and that its pretty much just society as a whole today. Were a confused bunch of people surrounded by religious tensions and the human toleration level has dropped so far in comparison to when most of us were kids and the world was pretty laid back.

Its a far cry from the early 90's thats for sure.

were all cats on hot tin roofs at the second and its unfortunate that neither "side" can seem to come to a decent conclusion about the other.. one thinks ones got a bomb strapped to them the other thinks he's going to be stripped naked and made to do weird things with a feather duster for their sick pleasures.. very confused world.

I can totally sympathize with your situation there exo and im glad it didnt come to something worse than it could have been, even though any physical voilence is never a good thing.

[Moad'Dib]

I'm not the violent kind of person.

Maybe this is the problem.

Btw. what does it mean "violent kind of person"?
Are you a violent person if you defend yourself every possible ways,... for example punch back if it necessary.

Sorry but this is how I see it if we don't punch back at last then finally this kind of people will erase us!

I am a really cool man. I never offend anybody. But otherside I don't ever let anybody to hurt me or my family.
I punch back if it necessary and sadly it happend some times. It is not good but the world works like that....

I'm sorry to hear your story Exoskeleton. But don't let it break you down.

[xo]

I could've punched back. There are a couple of reasons not to. First of all, I've almost never gotten into a fight so I'd probably not win it. Second, he was not alone there, I could have quickly become the victim of a group "happy slapping" event. So I used the "turtle tactic".

[tas]

In this day and age it's crazy to fight back. Back in the 80's you'd have probably gotten into a fair and square fight - these days you run the risk of being stabbed or having your head kick to hell and back.

If you can somehow defuse or escape the chances are you'll live another day. These people are looking for you to fight back and if you do then you simply fall straight into their hands.

Personally, I think exo would have ended up in hospital or dread to think worse if he'd have fought back. Your pride may be dented but for face remains intact.

[Vosla]

Maybe I was misunderstood.
It's in fact better to stay out of trouble.
Who cares if you tried your courage when you bite the dust for nothing.
Your choice was right, exoskeleton - with a bad taste but right.
When I said I would have exploded I didn't intend to look smart while doing it.

It's just that I'm filled to the brim with aggression and there's surely that day in the future I try to avoid - but it will come for sure - when I explode into a violent display of generetic hate - just to teach some assholes some manners. There's no pride, no heroes, no right, no brains in that. Seems that's just the road the world has paved for me and I walk it emptyhanded & alone. Shit, this reeks of self-pity. Fuck. Fuck! FUCK! Sounds even more retarded as the sh*t I usually salivate. Damn, angry again.

[Dumper]

the other thinks he's going to be stripped naked and made to do weird things with a feather duster for their sick pleasures..

Is that from personal experience Infamous?

[Moad'Dib]

Is that from personal experience Infamous? Smile

Heh!

Dumper! You are in a big trouble if this is the truth....


Dear Exoskeleton!

If it's true

... I've almost never gotten into a fight .....

then you did it right and should use the turtle technic in the future too.

Seriously, the most important that you are right, no any injury or anithing!