Chris Abbott wrote:I was just writing about what I dreamed of when I was buying equipment, and how hard it was to subsequently find the time to do anything with the equipment I bought. I always loved pleasing people with my music, so envisioning other people's reactions was always part of my motivation: it was never about fame, just about pleasing an audience. Not solely about that, but about finding the skills to deliver something which would deliver happiness. That's just how I'm built, but I wasn't trying to project that onto anyone else.
I like seeing photos of exotic equipment, and I don't feel annoyed or jealous that Razmo is enjoying it: I just know what it's like to collect stuff and then not find time to use it properly.
I did not read your comment as a projection onto anyone either... I rather took your comment as a general projection, which led me to think a bit about myself, fame, glory etc. and reflect on it.
I'm actualy quite like you when it comes to the reason for having a hobby like this... i once had a dream about making music, earning something from it, and feeling that people like what I do with music (well... we were all young once, thinking we could conquer the world right!?), but I just had to give that dream up years back for personal reasons.
Today I still have the urge to please people with creative stuff, but I have no desire to earn fame og money from it anymore... it's when these two things combine (fame and money), that the fun goes away for me, and make composing tiresome and boring because you have to "stick to it" like a job, even if you basicaly have lost all interest in a given project.
In your case, the obstacle seems to be time... in my case the obstacle is concentration because old projects bore me (before they are finished) and new ones tempt... sometimes it's really a curse, because you still really want the feedback from a finished project... and honestly... sometimes it makes me depressed that I cannot finish as much as I really would like, but it has been going on like this for so many years now, that I've come to terms with it...
For me the curse is, that I got all the time in the world, and I actually sit in front of it all almost 24/7... still, I get nothing done execpt on very few occations, and on these occations I've have had to REALLY push myself to get them finished. THAT feels like a curse to be honest, and I really HATE the feeling, when I look around my studio, seeing all that great gear, and thinking about how little I really accomplished with it.
Sometimes I get really confused... do I have a hobby to please me, others or both? ...