Re: Finally doing what I must.
Posted: 30/01/2008 - 19:59
Thanks, everyone. I had a truly awesome time - awesome's the only word. The first day, I went promptly from dropping my bags at the hotel to the site, and predictably blubbed my eyes out. Walked to the Empire State Building and looked out over the city. I had a business meeting the following day, where I was - fortunately - warned that lots of anti-war protesters and conspiracy theorists protest over the weekend.
So, I didn't go. You know how hard it is to get protester out of your beard after you've bitten their nose off. And I hear they carry diseases. Went to see Blue Man Group instead, then went up the ESB again to see the city at night.
Went back Monday, maintaining some kind of equilibrium. Went around the tribute museum, cried my damn eyes out again. Bought a large Wacom tablet. Seemed appropos.
Eight million people in that city. All very, very, very much alive. I've got photos of buildings that had been wrecked, that are repaired or replaced, now. I've seen a lot of the living city, and seen with my own eyes that strong backs and clever hands still rule the day, and that murdering bastards can, yes, wound, but they can't kill us - not us as people.
So looking over my memories, it still really hurts. But that's right. That's proper. That's what real, live people should do. The depthless, clanging despair however is gone. It doesn't feel hopeless, or a red screaming rage to look at those memories now. It just hurts, and I know we'll be moving on, remembering the dead, but looking to the living.
So, I didn't go. You know how hard it is to get protester out of your beard after you've bitten their nose off. And I hear they carry diseases. Went to see Blue Man Group instead, then went up the ESB again to see the city at night.
Went back Monday, maintaining some kind of equilibrium. Went around the tribute museum, cried my damn eyes out again. Bought a large Wacom tablet. Seemed appropos.
Eight million people in that city. All very, very, very much alive. I've got photos of buildings that had been wrecked, that are repaired or replaced, now. I've seen a lot of the living city, and seen with my own eyes that strong backs and clever hands still rule the day, and that murdering bastards can, yes, wound, but they can't kill us - not us as people.
So looking over my memories, it still really hurts. But that's right. That's proper. That's what real, live people should do. The depthless, clanging despair however is gone. It doesn't feel hopeless, or a red screaming rage to look at those memories now. It just hurts, and I know we'll be moving on, remembering the dead, but looking to the living.