Commodore Remix

Granted, mon, provided you fill out form 330-A, with particular notice to section C as per the requirements outlined in National Association for Beaureaucratic Preservation Annual Manifest 2005.

I wish I had an flashlight that doesn't spread light but darkness. Might come in handy...

Then you'd be able to see nothing, and trip over something causing you to break an arm or leg.

I wish it didn't rain so often.

1337

Granted but you'll live on mars all alone for the rest of your life which would probably be only a few seconds cos you'd forget your space suit.

I wish women were normal

Hey, don't wish for impossible things!

But ok.. Granted. All women now look and act like men. Sadly there are no children born after this.. and theres nothing but sports and beer commersials on TV.

I wish my vacation that starts in 2 weeks will be good.

Granted... but the 9 months of work following it will be hell.

I wish my handspan was an inch wider and my fingers half an inch longer so I could play the third movement of the Moonlight Sonata without busting my fingers trying to cover the broken chords...

Yes, but in order to do that you would have to use a hand growth spell. Unfortunately your hands would become so big that they would become borderline unusable.

I wish there was no such thing as a heatwave.

1337

1337 wrote:I wish there was no such thing as a heatwave.

Granted! Have fun with your new Ice Age.

I wish everybody a wonderful summer.

Okay, the wonderful summer lasts two more days and is followed by below 10°C temperatures and constant drizzle until christmas.

I wish I could take my wife out to dinner tonight.

Granted, But the restaurant is filled with screaming kids!

I wish for a banana.

Granted, but the fruitflies infesting it don't really want to be eaten.

I wish I had a turkey sandwich with turkey that is not dry or over-oily, the bread not stale and hard, just the right amount of mayonnaise that is not rancid, and fresh lettuce that has not been infested by any insects and not oversprayed with insecticide, that has not been: trodden on; run over; slobbered on by an animal (wild or domestic); cursed by a voodoo witch doctor; blessed by the Pope; spiked with any poison; left in the sun; frozen; microwaved; used as a masturbatory aide; exposed to nuclear radiation; touched by a leper; made at McDonald's; or harbouring a rare strain of flesh-eating bacteria found only in the dank depths of the Amazon rainforest.

Granted, but the following day you'd get a sandwich that was totally rancid to balance out the order of the universe.

I wish that crickets weren't so noisy

1337

granted - and all the ants are given loudhailers instead so they can bark orders to each other 24/7 so all you ever hear for the rest of your life is "get that twig down here now soldier... has anyone seen ron?... careful of that water spring gerald we dont want a repeat of last years flood disaster.." etc

i wish i could fly.

Granted! That was easy. You can already fly... though it's downwards only.

I wish my "old" cat would befriend my new one.

Granted.

10 if gender(cat1) = gender(cat2) then gender(cat1) = invert(gender(cat1))
20 kitten = mate(cat1,cat2)
30 happycatfamily = happycatfamily + kitten
40 goto 20

I wish you all a good midsummer eve.

Granted, but meanwhile we'd comment constantly on your programming skills...

"yeah, he should add something like...

15 happycatfamily = addUnique(happycatfamily, cat1, cat2)
16 malecats = sieve(happycatfamily, MALE)
17 femalecats = sieve(happycatfamily, FEMALE)
20 kittens = mate(malecats,femalecats)
30 happycatfamily = happycatfamily + kittens

Harh harh harh!!"

I wish it wasn't so hot here in the Hitman pitt...