I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it,
I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping in Debenhams.
I walked around with her while she tried on several very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said pick out a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you...she was excited.
She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when
she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I
blurted out,
"No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT?"
I then said "honey I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial means as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I add
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
